This Usually Works
by Laree England
Summary: What if Loki's attempt to brainwash Tony worked? For Steve and Tony's friendship and brotherly love. Rated for Tony's potty mouth. Multichapter. Chapter 4 up finally!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

"How will they have time to deal with me, when they're too busy fighting you?"

Tony's eyes widened as Loki lowered his scepter down to the center of his chest. An icy feeling raced through his chest, like he had drank an icy cold glass of water. The coolness spread throughout his entire body, lastly to his head. He felt it latch onto his brain, and he shook his head, trying to get it out, but it was in vain. Loki grinned as Tony's eyes filled with black, then revealed the blue eyes that was shared by the rest of his slaves. Tony stood there with his hands at his side, his face set. He looked like a soldier waiting to be commanded into action. Loki took a moment to savor the moment, taking Tony in. Such a brilliant mind, and such an advanced, destructive suit. All at his disposal. Loki's face abruptly turned lethal as he growled out his command.

"_End_ _them_."

Tony nodded and held his arms out. Loki watched as another suit came from the wall and constructed itself around Tony's body, and the mask swinging forward over his face, the eye slits in the suit glowing blue. Tony ran out, launching himself off of his landing pad.

Loki smiled again, rubbing the scepter in his hand.

This was going to make one good show.

* * *

Steve hit away another one of the Chitauri with his shield. Natasha was further down the street, and Steve was beginning to feel overwhelmed. He had never fought anything like this. Each new member of the Chitauri seemed to be a surprise, each one more terrifying than the last. Steve had figured out how their weapons worked, but it still alarmed him whenever a burst of purple whistled by him.

Steve heard something land behind him and he whirled around, shield ready to swing up and cut across the foe's jaw, but he recognized the red and gold in time.

"Tony!" Steve exclaimed, swinging his arm around to punch another alien away. "What are you doing here?"

The stillness that Steve received in reply puzzled him. Iron Man just stood there, staring at him, not doing anything to fend off the aliens that came in at all sides. Another fact that confused Steve was the fact that none of the Chitauri seemed to launch themselves at him.

Steve's perplexed thoughts were cut off by the advancing enemy. His mind was consumed with the goal of getting rid of as many of the Chitauri foot soldiers as possible, while staying alive himself. Captain America pushed, kicked, punched, and shouldered off alien after alien until there was a break in their forces. He turned to face Tony, who hadn't moved at all.

"Tony, what's wrong?" Steve asked, his chest rising and falling heavily.

In answer, Tony raised both his hands to Steve. He had to squint for a moment in confusion before his mind registered that his palms were lighting up.

"_Holy_ - "

Steve dived to the side in time to dodge the blast. He rolled up, crouched down as an instinct so that he'd be ready to dodge again. "_Tony_?"

Tony's palms lit up again, and Steve swatted the energy projectile away with his shield. Tony kept the blasts coming, pushing Steve further and further down the street. Car parts and chunks of cement flew all around Steve as he desperately tried to keep up with Tony's attacks. They eventually caught up with him, though, and a blast made contact with his stomach. Steve was knocked off from his feet, causing his chin made harsh contact with the ground. He spat blood and looked up, watching as Tony continued to advance towards him. The Iron Man's mask drew away from Tony's face and contracted back into the suit, revealing Tony's sharp blue eyes.

"Wait a minute…" Steve said, staring at Tony's eyes. They were supposed to be brown. And he had seen that color of irises before…

That's when it hit him.

Tony was now one of them.

"Steve!"

Steve looked behind Tony and saw Natasha running towards him.

"No! Stay back!" Steve yelled, painfully standing back up.

Tony turned around and shot two blasts at Natasha. Steve saw recognition fill Natasha's face as she saw Tony's eyes. She acrobatically dodged the blasts, taking cover behind a car. Tony walked towards the car, lifting his hands another time. Steve was getting ready to throw his shield when he saw a hammer fly through the air and make contact with Tony's chest, propelling him backwards into a taxi cab. Thor recalled his hammer with his hand and walked to Steve's side.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Loki used his scepter to brainwash him like he did Hawkeye." Steve replied, the truth of his words weighing down on his heart.

"What do we do?" Thor asked.

"We try to refresh his memory. Try to get him to remember who he is."

"What if we can't?"

Steve and Thor watched as Tony pulled himself out of the folded-in taxi cab and prepared to get back into battle. Steve knew what Thor meant by his question. He was asking if Steve was prepared to terminate Tony if he became too much of a threat.

"We'll do what we have to," Steve said mechanically.

Thor gave a slight nod.

"Give me back up. I'm going to try to jar his memory."

Thor stayed by the Captain's right shoulder as Steve walked cautiously towards Tony.

"Tony. I don't want to hurt you."

Tony's shoulder missiles revealed themselves threateningly.

"You're not in your right mind. Tony, listen to me. Loki brainwashed you. " he took another step towards him.

"Loki showed me knowledge." Tony replied. His voice sounded off. "He showed me the light."

"_No_, Tony." Steve shook his head. "Loki is using you to get to us. He knows that we don't want to hurt you."

"Loki's reign on the Earth will be great," Tony said, holding out his hands. "Join us, Captain. You'll know peace. Isn't that what you want?"

Steve grit his teeth. "Yes, of course that's what I want. But look around you, Tony! Do you call this peaceful? Loki did this!"

"Such steps are necessary to gain power."

"See, you wouldn't be saying that if you were yourself." said Steve, shaking his head. "Look inside you, Tony. Find yourself."

"Why would I want to go back to my old ways when this is so much better? So much more peaceful?"

"Because that's who you are. Who we need. Who _I_ - " he stopped himself short, giving Thor a quick, uneasy glance. "We need you back on our team, Tony."

Tony shook his head. "Never."

With that, his missiles contracted back into his suit and he sent out a flurry of blasts from his palms. Steve took cover behind his shield and Thor hit the deck. The attack suddenly stopped, and Steve peeked over his shoulder to see the Black Widow clinging to Tony's back with her legs wrapped around his middle, and her arms holding his neck in a choke hold. Tony tried to throw Natasha off by blasting at random.

"You have to hit his head, Cap! That's how I got Hawkeye out!" Natasha yelled to Steve.

Tony succeeded in throwing Natasha off by jabbing her in the side with his metal-covered elbow. She skidded across the pavement, and her head made painful contact with a pillar.

Steve looked at Thor as the demigod got up from the ground and nodded. Thor began to make a wide circle around to the back of Tony when Steve grabbed his arm.

"Just… not too hard, okay?"

Thor grinned. "Do not worry, Captain, I wont break your precious companion."

Thor strutted off, a grin on his face.

"Wha - He's not my…!" Steve saw that he wasn't getting anywhere and decided that this wasn't the best time to argue about exactly what Tony was to him.

Tony was tracking them both, one hand trained on each of their heads. Once Thor was directly across from Steve, the captain gave him the slightest nod of the head. Thor acknowledged it, and then they both launched into action. They sprinted at Tony, and Tony looked back and forth between them, trying to decide which to target. Steve yelled, and as planned, Tony directed his attention to the super soldier. Just as Thor launched himself to hit Tony, though, he swung back around, hitting Thor with a series of blasts that connected right at his chest. The demigod fell, and Steve found himself for a moment unsure of what to do. He now knew that he had to be the one to hit Tony, and he raised his shield, but at the last minute he hesitated long enough for Tony to punch him and send him flying into the same cab that Thor had sent Tony into earlier. His shield slipped from his grasp and slid down the street. Steve had the wind knocked out of him and he gaped and gasped, trying to get his breath back as Tony strolled towards him.

"Compassion." Tony spat. "It's your weakness."

"It's what made me who I am," Steve grunted, looking up at his ex-teammate.

"It's decided your demise," Tony countered, raising his hand.

Steve felt his hand close around a long, sharp piece of glass from the windshield of the cab. He could take him out. He had a weapon, and a clear shot at Tony's neck. Nobody would blame him. Nobody would hold it against him. Tony was now a hostile force. And a pretty prominent one at that. He was a threat. It would probably be for the best if he took him out before he could do anymore damage.

But Steve could still see a small remainder of Tony in his possessed face. Behind those unnatural blue eyes, that snarky genius was still there. Steve knew it. And how could he live with himself if he terminated Tony when he could still see some of the original Iron Man in him? He would have to trust that someone else would bring Tony back. He would rather die than kill his teammate.

And that was exactly the choice that he was making.

Tony's palms sparked up and Steve closed his eyes. He was ready. If he thought about it, he was around ninety years old. He had lived to be an old man. Maybe he could see Peggy again. He had lived out his dream to serve his country. He had given America everything that he had. He would die with a crystal clear conscious.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, calming down his racing heart.

Steve heard the familiar sound of Tony's energy blasts and plunged into darkness.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

Tony's brain went fuzzy. His head twitched as the world was highlighted in harsh colors. He knew that something was wrong with him. Something was _off_. He could feel something tug at the back of his mind as he tried to remember where he was, and what the hell he was doing. Somehow, he knew that he had done something…_ horrible_, something against his nature, but he couldn't place it.

Tony sunk down to his knees and grasped his head. It felt like he was trying to surface from the bottom of a deep ocean. His ears were ringing. He was struggling to breathe as he faded in and out of vision.

Finally he leveled out, and the blue faded from his irises, revealing the brown again. He blinked and looked around him, trying to gain some sense of his memory. He was still in the battle, but why was he down on the street? Last he remembered, he was in his apartment, talking to -

_Loki_.

Tony looked frantically around him, as if searching for an answer to the most basic question swirling in his mind.

_How much damage did I cause?_

Then his eyes landed on a demolished taxi in front of him. He had to squint for a moment before he recognized the blue uniform. His eyes widened and his stomach dropped beneath the ground.

"No." he choked. "No no no no no…"

Tony jumped to the Captain. He grasped the super soldier's shoulders, as if he squeezed hard enough he would open his eyes. The flesh on his chest was completely burned black. It looked serious. Severe. Fatal. He saw Steve's right hand and the long glass shard in it. The Captain was still, and his eyes were closed. All the pieces fit together in a rush that knocked the breath from his lungs. Steve could have defended himself, but he didn't.

"You bastard," he said, grasping the super soldier's face in his hands. "_Why didn't you kill me_?" Tony shook Steve's shoulders. "Don't you dare do this to me! Don't shove this off on me!"

Tony put his ear to Steve's mouth and heard no breath.

"_No_, you _bastard_!" Tony practically shrieked. "Come back!" Tony began to go into hysterics, chanting, "Don't make me live with this. Don't make me live with this. Don't make me live with this…" he rocked back and forth with his words, holding Steve to his chest.

"Stark!"

Tony turned to see Thor and Natasha running towards him. They both had wounds of their own, and somehow Tony knew that they were all from him.

"Tony, are you okay?" Natasha asked.

"Help me!" he pleaded with them, looking back at Steve. "I didn't know what I was doing…"

"You're right, you didn't," Natasha said. "This is Loki. Not you. _Loki_ did this."

Thor lifted Steve's limp form from the car and placed him gingerly on the ground. Tony had wanted to swat him away, throw his body in front of Steve's. He didn't want anyone to touch him. Steve head hung limp, like the rest of him. It didn't look good at all. Tony's legs collapsed, and he sat, staring, unable to really feel anything at all. He just kept staring at the wounds. His mauled chest. The blood. How unbearably _still _he was. He could hear Natasha speaking into her earpiece to Clint, telling him that the Captain was down.

"He can still come back," Tony said weakly. He looked up at Thor. "He can still come back, right?"

Thor didn't respond.

"There's more forces coming," Natasha said, looking up at the sky.

Tony didn't think that he could move. He was numb from head to foot, his eyes unable to look away from Steve's unmoving form. No. It hadn't been Loki. It was him. Well, at least it was a part of him. Loki had targeted Tony's frustrations and directed them all at Steve. Tony could remember… He could remember the things he did. He could remember _wanting_ to kill Steve. _Wanting_ to see the life drain from him…

Why had he been so damn _noble_? He was too stupid to protect himself. Had he realized how much more important he was to the world than Tony? People needed Captain America more than Tony. He didn't deserve for his life to end this way.

There was no way that he could live with this. No way that he could continue on when it was Steve who should be living on in his place…

"Tony!"

Tony's thoughts were interrupted by Thor's hand grasping his arm. He looked to it and realized that he had a piece of glass raised to his neck. Almost like the one that Steve had grasped in his hand…

Thor gave him a look. "Captain Rogers would not want you to live in this way," Thor said. "He made the choice, Iron Man."

"Some hell of a choice," Tony growled.

"You must now accept it," he said. "He sacrificed himself for you. It was in his very nature. You cannot expect anything less from the Captain."

Tony gulped and nodded, dropping the shard. Thor released his arm and stepped away from him. The Chitauri were advancing on them again. There wasn't much time. Tony moved Steve's body behind the taxi, so that it was completely cut off from the war around them. He spotted his shield and grabbed it, and placed it on top of Steve, over the wounds. If they ended on top, Tony would come back for Steve's body and give him a proper funeral. He would do everything in his power to somehow make it okay again. Tony took in deep breaths and nodded. He was going to live up to the namesake of their team.

He heard Fury's voice come in on his earpiece. "There's a nuclear bomb coming in. It's set to go off in one minute. Do you copy, Stark?"

A fire burned in Tony's chest, and the Iron Man mask snapped back over his face.

"I copy."

.

.

.

A furious roar rang in his ears, and Tony jerked back to consciousness, blinking at the fuzzy forms of his teammates that looked down from above him.

"What the hell?" Tony blinked as his vision returned. The Hulk roared again, and Tony tried to get his eyes to focus. "Please tell me nobody kissed me."

He looked around for the man that he had directed the joke towards, but he didn't see him.

"Where's…?"

Then it came back to him. It came with the power of a tsunami and the unexpectedness and shock of a bullet to the chest. He tried to trick his brain into believing that it was all just a bad dream. That Steve would walk over at any moment, that his smiling face would warm his heart like it had times before. But he could see through his own feeble lies. He groaned and wiped his forehead with his metal-covered hands. "Is - Did I - Did I really - "

Thor grasped his shoulder. "I am sorry, Tony."

Tony's eyes stung and he covered his face so that his teammates couldn't see him. He couldn't control his sadness, his despair. He took in a shaky breath and tried to collect himself.

"Don't do this to yourself," Natasha repeated. "That was Loki."

"No! No, it wasn't." said Tony, sitting up. "I was there too. _I_ did it."

Natasha looked over to Clint, who looked at the ground out of shame and guilt.

Tony looked to his left. A couple streets over he could see a wrecked taxi cab, and a red boot poking out from behind it. Another fire lit in his chest, but this time it was fiercer. Hotter. More consuming.

Tony stood up and stared up at his tower. Loki was still there. He _knew_ it. He fired up his rockets, ready to take off.

"Where are you going?" Thor asked.

Tony looked down at him. "I'm going to do what we were _meant_ to do." he looked back up at the tower. "Avenge."

He blasted off, and the closer he drew to his apartment, the harder his heart pounded in his chest. Memories of Steve danced in and out of his vision. _I killed him._ was the harsh sentence that rang in his ears. _I murdered him. _He landed through a broken window and watched as Loki was tried to lift himself out of the rubble that was now Tony's floor.

"Well do not just stand there, help me up!" said Loki, holding out his arm. He still thought that Tony was under his command.

Tony walked forward and said, "Alright."

He grasped Loki around the neck and lifted him up so that his feet dangled. Loki clawed at Tony's metal fingers and made choking noises.

"As long as you're hanging out here, why don't you pay attention?" Tony spat at Loki's feet. "You are going to die. In the most _intimate _of ways. Nice… and slow." he growled. "Now, knowing you and your ignorant ways, you might be asking yourself: 'Why in the world would I deserve such a cruel fate?' Well, that's what I came to tell you."

He tightened his hold on Loki's neck, feeling pleasure course through him as the flesh bended beneath his fingers. He brought Loki's face closer to his own, their noses almost touching. To say that Tony had a murderous look in his eye would be a vast understatement. He was insane with anger and sorrow, and his madness magnified his lust for Loki's blood. You could taste Tony's fury in silence that he let fill what little room there was in between them.

Tony made sure to put every drop of venom into his voice as he said: "Because you made me murder the only man that I ever gave a shit about, you sick bastard."**(1)**

He threw Loki with an enraged roar, making him hit against one of the corners of the walls. Loki wheezed for breath and sounded like he was going to be sick.

Loki drew in enough breath to hiss out a sentence. "Are you sure?" Loki asked, looking right into Tony's eyes.

"Yeah, I'm pretty damn well sure." Tony spat. His voice got strangely high pitched in the middle of his sentence.

"Are you sure that it wasn't just _you_ who killed him?" he implored, painfully standing himself up.

Tony's heart pounded even harder and his eyes blurred with tears. He pointed a shaking finger at Loki. "You shut your mouth."

"You did not _care_ for the man, you puny, misdirected human. You _despised_ him. I could feel it inside you when I made you one of my own." Loki grinned. "It must have felt so _good_ to see the life drain away from him."

Tony pointed his clenched fist at Loki, three tiny missiles appearing from his armor. "If I were you, I might want to shut up about now."

"But you are not me. Not even close, you Midgardian scum. You are a pathetic _human_. I am a god. The rightful king of Asgard. You cannot defeat me."

"You've _already lost_,Loki." Tony hissed. "Your army lies dead in the streets. The Teseract is gone. I think they took your scepter too. And now, you're going to die." Tony got a twisted grin on his face. "Us humans think you immortal." he paused for a moment. "Shall we test that?"

Tony was about to release his missiles when he was tackled to the ground. Thor stood back up and placed his hammer on Tony's chest.

"Dammit, Thor!" Tony cursed, struggling in vain against the weight of Mjornir.

"I will not let you murder my brother!"

"_He made me kill Steve_!" Tony cried.

"And I am full of regret for that." Thor said. "But Loki must face the judgement of Asgard."

Tony continued to struggle against the hammer, using every curse that he knew against the demigod. Suddenly, Natasha appeared above him and held something to his lips.

"Drink this," she said, and before Tony could close his mouth the liquid drained down his throat, and he slipped out of consciousness.

.

.

.

"Tony… Tony…"

Tony awoke for the second time that day. Natasha, Clint, and the non-green version of Bruce hovered over him. Tony noticed that the hammer had been removed from his chest, and also that he hadn't moved an inch.

"Where's Loki?" he looked around wildly.

"Thor took him," Bruce replied.

"I only took you out long enough for them to leave." Natasha added.

Tony sat up, and his head throbbed with pain. He would never forgive Natasha or Thor, but he decided to put that behind him. For now.

He looked out of the gaping holes in his walls. "Is it over?"

All three of them nodded.

"The cleanup committee is gonna have a hell of a time, though." said Clint.

Tony pushed himself up and looked down at the demolished war zone that used to be the streets of New York City. His mind raced as he tried to remember where the taxi cab was, but before long he spotted it and launched himself out the window.

He landed next to the Captain, and he could hardly bear to look at his face, which was taught tight in a permanent grimace. Tears stung at his eyes as he thought of how he had caused this to happen. He hated the fact that Steve was so noble and chivalrous that refused to defend himself. Tony would rather be switched in places with the Captain, that way he wouldn't have to live with the pain in his chest. And the rest of his body, in fact. His whole body ached, not because of the aftermath of the battle, but with grief.

"I'm so sorry, Cap." Tony whispered coarsely.

Tony bent down and lifted Steve in his arms, hugging Steve's limp form close to his chest. Tony forced his eyes to look at Steve's face, forever grimacing from pain that Tony had inflicted on him. Tony shook his head.

"So, _so_ sorry."

He bent his head down and softly kissed Steve's forehead. He was so cold…

He tried to steel himself as he began to walk down the Chitauri-body littered streets, but to no avail. Tears began to fall from Tony's eyes, and he hated it. He couldn't remember the last time that he had cried. But these were well deserved tears, right? And he could only hope that nobody saw him like this. Eventually, though, he completely gave into the weight in his chest, and tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

The silence was unbearable. A void developed in Tony from knowing that Steve would never breathe again. Never walk by his side. Never go into his zone of strategy and lose himself in the art of militia. Never don on his suit and walk into battle. Never serve his country ever again. His eyes would never again light up at the thought of defending someone.

He would never smile again.

And it was all _Tony's _fault.

Tony's mind flashed to their argument. He had never apologized. Never made up for his cruel words. Steve had died thinking that Tony thought that everything special about him came from a bottle.

"You're so much more than that," Tony whispered, a part of him hoping that wherever Steve was now, he could hear him.

Tony continued to walk, and he realized that he actually had no idea where he was going. He'd probably just keep wandering until a SHIELD helicopter came for him. If they ever did come for him. Why would they? Why would they want him to come back? He had murdered one of his own. They would probably come for Steve's body, but leave Tony behind.

He should have fought against Loki's hold on his mind. Then Steve would still be around. He wouldn't have to think about how he would never again hear the sound of the super soldier's voice. He used to think it bothersome, always blabbering about battle plans or times back in the '40s, but now he found that his heart yearned for the sound of it.

Tony heard a loud whirring sound and looked up. A SHIELD hovercraft descended down, floating just a couple stories above him. Tony fired up his thrusters and rose up to meet it. A man inside beckoned him to come closer. He did, landing just inside the hovercraft and laid Steve down on a stretcher that the man pulled up to him.

Tony fell to the floor. Normally after battle Tony had experienced a blissful emptiness of mind from exhaustion. But not this time. This time, visions of Steve's mauled body kept appearing before him. All the moments on the flying fortress, Steve's desire and goodness. The pure passion to serve his country in every human, and even beyond that, way possible. The knowledge that it had been _him_ who took that away from Steve… To say it was unbearable would not suffice. An ache as sharp and biting as acid damaged and destroyed everything in him. It slowly burned away all things that he was. His life, his whole existence, seemed completely irrelevant and horribly stolen away from somebody much more deserving. And that man was lying, lifeless, a few feet away from him. _That's_ who he had stolen every breath that he now took from. Tony would sell away his soul to the king of the underworld himself if he could grant life back into Steve. He would burn in the most inner and torturous fires of hell if he could give Steve back all of the things that he had sacrificed in order to be a hero. A soldier. A savior.

Tony's eyes rolled over to the stretcher on which Steve lied. The man that had beckoned Tony inside was now bent over Steve, a scepter in hand…

Thor hadn't taken his brother.

"Loki!" Tony yelled, launching himself at the demigod. Loki turned and crouched, prepared to take him, when he dissolved into thin air as Tony was about to grab him. Tony rolled, holding his position on the floor, looking around frantically for the real Loki. He saw two bodies shoved in the corner, and his stomach turned over as he realized that Loki must have killed them in order to appear friendly to Tony, so that he could capture him and Steve. More people that were killed on his account.

But why would he want Steve?

Tony looked back to the stretcher and saw Steve shift slightly. A desperate thought flitted into his mind and gave him hope.

_He's alive_.

"Loki!" Tony called out again.

Three versions of Loki came out from the cockpit and stood across from Tony, each one with an identical grin on his face.

"Which one am I, Iron Man?" they all jeered, and two more appeared. They all laughed, eerily echoing each other. Enough Lokis appeared to fill up the whole hovercraft, and they all reached out for him.

Tony shot blasts at all of them, and one by one they disappeared, until only one stood. Tony moved in front of Steve, holding a protective stance.

"He doesn't look too good," Loki said, gesturing at him with his scepter. "I would expect he requires a healer." the scepter lighted up threateningly. "I would hate to worsen his condition…"

Tony moved in front of the line of fire. Loki grinned slightly and lifted the scepter up so that it was pointed at Tony's head.

"…Or keep him away from the medical attention he so _desperately_ needs."

Tony struggled to keep his breathing even.

"Either will kill him," said Loki, as if commenting on the odds of a football game. He spreading out his hands, his voice turning harsh again. "So, _friend_, you should consider yourself in a situation where you _cannot_ win."

Loki dropped his hands and glared at him with the sharpness of steel.

"Anthony Stark. _Make your move._"

**Review please!**

**(1) Yes, I'm aware that Tony probably cared for a lot of other people, like Pepper and James. Just… go with my creative license, please?**


	3. Chapter 3

So, Tony did the most logical thing that came to mind.

He let out a yell of rage and ran at Loki, tackling him so that they plummeted out of the SHIELD hovercraft. Loki clawed at Tony's face, making Tony wish that he still had his helmet. He then realized that the loss also meant that he had no way to communicate with JARVIS or SHIELD. It all just kept stacking up.

_Thor, if I ever get out of this mess, I will kill you._

Loki continued to struggle against Tony. The latter had gotten used to falling from the sky, but he doubted that the same could be said for Loki.

"Still feeling high and mighty?" he yelled over the wiping winds that were making his eyes dry.

The ground approached, and Tony grunted as he mustered his strength to flip Loki so that he was under him. He closed his eyes as they made impact. Rubble flew in all different directions. Tony pulled back an arm and punched Loki as hard as he could. The demigod roared and kicked Tony off, running at him with his scepter. He swung it at Tony, who blocked the blow and hit him square in the chest with a blast. Loki simply shook it off, pulling up his scepter to launch a blast of his own. Tony flipped over Loki's head and drove his shoulder into his back. Loki's blast went off sideways as he fell to the ground. Tony drove his knee into Loki's chest and grabbed his throat with his left hand, his right lighting up with another blast pointed directly at Loki's face.

"_Go on_," Loki hissed. His fingers struggled against Tony's iron grip on his neck. "It's his funeral."

Tony looked up and his stomach dropped. The SHIELD hovercraft now had no pilot, and it was on a collision course with a skyscraper. Steve was inside, still alive, but not for long unless Tony acted soon.

"Make your choice!" Loki choked, his cold eyes icing Tony's insides.

Tony's grip tightened on Loki's neck. Every second that he kept Loki at bay brought Steve closer to his real, final, and permanent end. Tony couldn't let that happen again, even though he had the fiercest evil that the earth had ever seen locked between his fingers. Tony let a moment pass of indecision: did he do what was best for the earth by finishing Loki right now or save Steve?

Tony let out a cry of frustration and flew away from Loki, trying to block out Loki's triumphant laugh behind him. Loki had played his cards perfectly, and now Tony had no choice but to fold.

Tony's thrusters sparked and spurted, giving Tony very limited control. He longed to be able to communicate with JARVIS. He could tell the AI to put every last bit of power from the arc reactor into the thrusters, even if it meant that he ran the risk of it completely giving out. He didn't need Iron Man screen to know that if he wasn't able to go any faster the hovercraft would crash into the building before he was able to gain back control. But he didn't need to gain control, did he? He just needed to get Steve out.

Tony sped as fast as he could towards the hovercraft as it flew straight on towards the skyscraper. Tony found himself letting out sounds of desperation as he seemed to only glide at a leisurely pace towards the speeding hovercraft. The hovercraft's nose made contact with the side of the building, and Tony's world skidded into a jerked, slower reality.

Flame irrupted inside the hovercraft, but he didn't slow down. He grew closer and he allowed hope to spark inside him. He pulled up to the side, about ten feet out, and began to take his clear shot inside.

Tony didn't hesitate to plunge inside. He saw Steve lying on the stretcher, then orange flame plumed around him. Tony had to close his eyes, but he reached out and grabbed Steve's body. The blast from the explosion shoved Tony back out the other side. Tony snapped his eyes back open as they tumbled head over heels back down towards the ground. He fired back up the thrusters again, but he couldn't use the ones on his hands to steer, and he barely had any power left anyway. In short, Tony was only able to mildly redirect their fall. He slanted them towards the closest building, and they crashed through a window. They slid out across the floor, toppled over desks, and sending papers flying as they did. Tony kept his hold on Steve until they slowed to a stop. Tony sat up and rolled Steve over. Steve's face was still. Tony searched it, hoping that the soldier still had some glimpse of life left in him. Tony couldn't have gotten so close to having Steve back only to have him die again.

"Steve," Tony grasped his shoulders. "Come on, Steve."

Steve's face twitched, and Tony's heart thudded against his chest. Steve began to painfully lift an eyelid, but quit. Tony could tell he was slipping.

"_Come on_, Steve!" Tony's chest swelled with dread.

"T… T…"

Tony brushed Steve's hair out of his face. "Stay with me."

Steve's eyelids lifted, revealing the brilliant blue that Tony thought he would never see again. Tony smiled widely, tears filling his eyes.

"T…Tony…"

"I'm here! Just stay with me," Tony looked around for any way that he could possibly contact SHIELD. The room looked familiar, but Tony couldn't place it…

He was on the business floor of Stark Tower.

Well. That was convenient.

"Hang on, Cap. I'll get you to a doctor soon."

He picked Steve up as gently as he possibly could, but he still got a grunt from the injured super soldier. Tony tried to get his thrusters to work again, but they just sparked and caught a nearby piece of paper on fire. Tony stomped out the flames and looked around. JARVIS was only activated on the top floor, which was thirty stories above him. With everything that happened that day, he doubted that he would be able to climb thirty flights of stairs.

Elevator it was.

Tony walked over and shifted Steve in his arms so that he could awkwardly push the button, which cracked underneath the force of his Iron Man suit. He anxiously watched the numbers on the elevator slowly count down to his level. He would never take his thrusters for granted again.

Finally the elevator doors opened, and Tony was about to jump inside when he saw a little old lady standing in the middle of the elevator, clutching a beaded handbag. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of the bloody and burned Captain America in the arms of a beat-up Iron Man.

Tony gave her the best smile he could muster. "You mind moving over a bit? Pay no mind to Captain Spangles here."

The old lady shuffled over to the corner and stared as Tony stepped inside. "Can you press floor fifty for me?"

She raised a shaky finger and pressed the button for him, and they began to ascend. Her jaw had dropped as she continued to stare with big bug-eyes. Tony sniffed looked over to her. "Lovely weather today."

She just blinked.

After a time that stretched on for three lifetimes the doors opened to Tony's demolished apartment. "You take care now!" he called over his shoulder as he stepped out and lied Steve down on his surprisingly untouched couch. He was extremely pale and was barely breathing.

"JARVIS!" Tony shouted.

"I am here, sir." JARVIS's calm voice said.

"Contact SHIELD. It's an emergency."

"Connection made."

"Fury! The captain is still alive. He needs medical attention immediately."

"Are you sure?" Fury's voice came over the sound system.

"Yes. But he's going to die if we don't get him to a doctor."

"We've just sent a medical hovercraft your way." he hear Agent Hill's voice.

"Hurry!"

They did. It hadn't been five minutes before the hovercraft floated right outside Tony's windows. He picked Steve back up and carried him over to the edge. It was tricky getting Steve inside, but before long the medical team had Steve on a stretcher and was hooking him up to their equipment. Tony went inside too, sitting down in a corner where he would be out of the way. The hovercraft did a U-turn and sped off away from New York. It was reassuring to be able to hear the rate of Steve's heartbeat through the monitor, but it was really weak. He let the sound the monitor comfort him as he let his limbs fall where they would.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Fatigue gripped at him, but his brain was still consumed by worry for Steve's survival.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

The medical team called to each other for various tools and injections.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Tony didn't know what to feel. He knew he should be relieved, but he couldn't help but still be terrified of the fact that Steve was still walking on the edge of death.

_Beep. Beep. Beep…_

But there was hope. Right now he was alive, and that had to count for something.

Right?

_Beep… Beep…_

A continuous ringing filled the hovercraft, and the head of the medical staff began shouting harsh commands. Flurries of movement filled Tony's vision as people ran around Steve's stretcher. Then it hit Tony, and he felt like Thor had hit him square in the chest with Mjornir without the Iron Man suit to protect him. This couldn't be happening, not after all he had been through, not when they had him so close to people who could help him…

Steve had flat lined.


	4. Chapter 4

**So so so so so so sorry for the wait. I'd give the classic "life's been hectic" speech, but after a full month of nothing, I know that I'll still be held accountable. So, I hope this chapter makes up for the wait! I know I don't really deserve them at this point, but reviews would be OOBER nice!**

**Again, this is bromance, not slash.**

**And 60 followers? Seriously, you guys are awesome!**

**Yes, Tony may overreact. Yes, he may be a little ooc. However, if you are able to get past this fact, you will (I hope) get an overdose of feels. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Ask yourself, did Steve and Tony hug in the Avengers? At least once? No? Then, obviously, I don't own the Avengers. **

The only way to describe the pain was unbearable. Hot knives plunged in and out of his chest, making breathing practically an impossibility. He wasn't screaming. He wasn't moving. Just stretched to snapping point in a boiling abyss that pressed down on him and slowly swallowed him whole. Amongst the pain, though, there was a light. He was enduring this for a reason, a reason that was well worth it.

Tony.

Whenever he thought of him, the pain seemed to push itself to the side. It was still there, sure enough, but making Tony the focal point of his thoughts… helped, somehow. It made the unbearable bearable.

But then consciousness came.

That made it worse.

"He's gone critical!" Steve heard someone yell.

"Get us back to the helicarrier now!"

Steve phased in and out, flashes of light blinding him, and storms of sharp, white hot needles pounded down on him. He registered that his scenery had changed… maybe onto the helicarrier's medical center? He didn't have much brain power to mull it over.

"Anesthesia wont work, his body will burn it off too quickly."

"Do it without the sedative, then."

"We're going to perform surgery without putting him under?" the nurse's voice sounded high.

"We don't have a-"

"What the hell is going on?"

Tony.

"Mr. Stark, please calm down and remove yourself-"

There was a loud crash and a call for security. Steve wanted to pull himself out, to open his eyes and see Tony, to call out to him and hear his voice, but the monster still held him in its throat, and Steve knew that if he ever wanted to see Tony again, that he'd have to fight for it.

"Calm down, Mr. Stark!"

There was a grunt of pain as Steve heard someone hit the floor. The squeaking of shoes followed the rustling of clothing, and Steve knew that Tony was being restrained. Steve begged the monster to release him for just a second, just long enough for him to tell Tony that he may not be okay now, but he wouldn't give in, that he would pull himself out of this. For him.

The monster was not merciful. Steve remained in his paralyzed state, silently suffering as the doctors began to work around him.

.

.

.

Tony yanked his arms out of the guards' grip and tried to hurl himself back into the surgery room. Tony had no idea what was happening to him. He had gone primitive, Steve being the only thing on his mind. The guards shoved him back into the hallway wall.

"We will restrain you, Mr. Stark." a guard warned.

"Steve!" Tony yelled, struggling agains the guard.

"Mr. Stark!" the guard grunted.

Tony let out a yell and jerked away from the guards, contenting himself just to pace. His fingers knotted themselves in his hair. The guards remained posted by the door, their eyes roving back and forth as they followed Tony.

The more he paced, the more his heart rate slowed down. Steve never flicked out of his mind for a second, however. Tony had already almost lost him twice that day. Tony wasn't sure if he would be able to take losing him again. Especially if this time it was for keeps. He wanted nothing more than for all this to be over, to see Steve open his eyes again. Nervousness pitted itself in his stomach. He hated not knowing what was happening. Things could be going well, just a simple patch job, or they could be going completely and fatally wrong-

Steve's scream rang in Tony's ears.

Tony stopped mid-pace and looked at the door with wide eyes.

"What the hell are they doing?" Tony snarled. He strode towards the door, reaching for the handle, but the guards stuck out their arms and shoved him back. Tony remembered hearing one of the nurses saying something about anesthesia, about how it wouldn't work on Steve; his body would burn it off too quickly. Steve was undergoing surgery with nothing to ease the pain.

"What do those doctors think they're doing?"

A distressed looking nurse came scuttling out of the room, and Tony didn't hesitate to grab the young woman's collar and put his face an inch away from hers.

"What the hell is happening?"

"Release her, Mr. Stark!"

"_Tell me!_" Tony yelled, and the nurse's face began to grow red.

The guard pulled him away from her and slammed him to the opposite wall. Before he could register what was happening, cuffs zipped around Tony's wrist and his sleeve was pushed up past his elbow, the doctor holding an injection in her hand.

"I will do it if you can't get ahold of yourself," her voice was low.

Tony lowered his head and slunk to the ground, Steve's screams still going on in the background. He nodded and held up his cuffed hands in surrender, and the nurse returned to the operating room, and as the door opened, Tony was able to catch a glimpse of Steve's writhing and bloody body. Tony closed his eyes and rested against the wall, fatigue gripping his body but worry keeping his mind more than awake. The guard didn't let his eyes leave Tony, and he stood in front of the door with his muscular arms crossed over his chest. Every quick scream that Steve released made Tony jump, but at least in a morbid sort of way each time he yelled out in pain it reminded Tony that he was still alive, but when Steve began to call out Tony's name, well, that was when he lost it. Not in the shamelessly-fling-his-body-against-the-door-and-fight-tooth-and-nail-to-get-to-Steve sort of way, but Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, wept. Sobs wracked at his body like never before in his life, and Tony found himself promising anything to whatever sick god was out there, as long as this horrible nightmare could be over, and Tony could take Steve back to his home, and just… he didn't know what he'd do. Probably put Steve in a padded room and make sure he never left again. Maybe Stokholm syndrome would apply to them. Tony doubted it, though. Steve had hated his guts when he first met him, and to be honest, the feeling had been mutual. But the longer Tony had spent with the old guy, the more he had found himself beginning to love him. And based upon Steve's actions, apparently he was beginning to warm up to him, too. Although, knowing the guy, he probably would have done the same for any other undeserving bastard in the world.

Tony hated him for that.

Tony loved him for that.

_Just make it out alive, Steve_, Tony meditated as Steve continued to call out for him. _Just make it out alive._

_For me._


	5. Chapter 5

All had been quiet for hours. Tony hadn't moved an inch, as if locked in time, staring at the same spot in the wall. His mind no longer formulated thoughts, or emotions, even. Just an empty shell with one thing filling it: Steve. Just his name. No longer his smile, or life, or screams. Just Steve. No sadness. No worry. Just Steve.

It was as though Tony had already thought and felt everything in a single hurricane, and now that it had passed, it left a decimated version of him, like a leveled town with a single tumbleweed somersaulting across it.

The other Avengers had come through, one by one, waiting for a while for Steve with Tony, but Tony never responded to them. They all said the same things, just in different phrasing.

_It's okay, Tony. Steve's going to be fine. Come and rest. You need to eat something. Staying here and wasting away isn't helping Steve… Captain America will come back to fight another day. _

But how could they know that? They couldn't know that. For all Tony knew, the silence meant that Steve had passed on, and the doctors were simply stalling to have to tell him. The silence frightened him. At least when he was screaming Tony knew that Steve was still alive. Now that there was nothing…

The unknown was a scary thing.

The door opened slowly, and Tony slowly rose to his feet, trying to read the doctor's face, but his surgical mask was concealing his mouth. Tony's heart was about to tear itself out of his chest. All of his emotions peaked, ready to explode like a nuclear bomb.

The doctor uncovered his mouth, revealing a smile. "He's been asking for you."

Tony's knees almost gave out. All of the emotions that had raged inside of him like an angry mob abruptly calmed, bliss replacing it. Tony's breath came easily to him for the first time all day (had it really only been one day for all of this to happen?), and tears spilled from his eyes before he could stop them. Tony covered his face and used the wall for support, the sound of his sobs echoing down the hallway, his body shaking with relief. He wiped away the tears and cleared his throat, then unsteadily walked towards the doctor, who held the door open for him.

"Tony?"

Tony had to keep himself from running to him. Countless wires extended from his body, and a heart monitor steadily beeped with his heart beat. The monitor's beeping sped up slightly as Steve laid eyes on Tony. Steve looked and sounded like a mess, but he was here, breathing and on the mend, giving Tony that smile he thought he'd never see again.

"Tony."

Tony walked towards him, and for the first time in his life he felt insecure and unsure of himself. Steve continued to smile though, and Tony sped up his pace, standing at Steve's side in a second.

Steve winced slightly as he tried to move, and Tony placed a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Easy, Cap," Tony said, a smile spreading across his features.

The super soldier shook his head and began to sit up.

"Steve, you're not ready to move yet, your stitches…" Tony's voice faded out when he saw the expression on Steve's face. The smile was gone, a look of painful determination replacing it. White bandages were wrapped around his chest, and miscellaneously placed around his head and arms. Every movement brought severe pain to the captain, but nothing compared to the surgery. The means would justify the end he was seeking.

"You need to rest…" Tony tried again, but Steve gave him such a murderous glare that he decided to quit trying to make him lie back down.

With a grunt of pain, Steve stood fully upright, looking down at Tony. At first, Tony thought that Steve had suddenly taken an unexpected turn, and was now going to extract revenge on him. But underneath the determination in Steve's eyes, there wasn't malice. In fact, the exact opposite was true. Tony would go as far as to say that there was a hint of love in the captain's eyes. Steve took a single step forward and slowly brought his arms up, wincing slightly from the effort. Before Tony could register what was happening, he was engulfed in a hug from the super soldier. Steve rested his head on Tony's shoulder. Blinking, Tony slowly and gently wrapped his arms around Steve as well, feeling Steve's muscular body relax.

"It's good to see you, Tony," Steve whispered.

There were few things that Tony Stark couldn't figure out. Steve Rogers was one of them. Tony was the one who had put him here, he was the reason he had to go through that surgery, why he was dressed like a half-unwrapped zombie. Yet, despite all that, Steve was hugging him, and was happy to see him.

Tony had never experienced anything like it.

"Same to you, Cap," Tony said.

Steve released him and began to lie down again. Tony helped him, hating every moment of pain that Steve felt. When Steve was comfortably situated, Tony took in a big breath.

"Steve, I am so sorry. If it wasn't for my stupidity, none of this would have happened-"

"Stop. Stop that right now."

Tony's jaw snapped shut in response to the forcefulness in his voice. Hm. He wasn't a captain for nothing.

"You were brainwashed, Tony. You couldn't have known that Loki would do this."

"I should have thought things through before I waltzed right in there and tried to-"

"Tony, for once in your life, _shut up_." Steve took in a breath. "Look, Tony, I'm just happy to be able to see you, _you_, again," Steve's meaning was clear, he was glad that Tony wasn't a brainwashed robot anymore. "The fact that you're back is payment enough for me. And if you l-" he stopped. "If I'm as much of a friend to you as you are to me, that should be good enough for you, too."

Tony's hand acted of its own accord and grabbed onto Steve's. "I can't tell you in words how- how happy I am that you're alive. But… I'll never be able to forgive myself for the damage I've done to you."

Steve's eyes drooped from exhaustion, but somehow he managed to keep them open. "Please, Tony… For me… Just don't."

Tony squeezed his hand. "Okay. I'll try."

Steve's eyes shut, and Tony's initial reaction was fear, but the heart monitor assured him that he was still alive. Tony saw Steve's eyebrows knit together, and his eyelids lifted again.

"Where's my shield…?"

Tony swallowed. He hadn't thought about the soldier's shield. Last time he had it, it was on the hovercraft with Loki. It was probably amongst the rubble of the skyscraper that the hovercraft had crashed into.

"I'll get it for you. Rest, Steve. You need it."

Steve's eyelids dropped instantly, his hold on Tony's hand slackening. Tony ran his fingers through Steve's hair once, his fingers catching on the bandages. Tony quickly withdrew his hand and tried to hold back the guilt that pitted itself in Tony's stomach. Tony, too, would have to heal with time.

Although it pained Tony to leave him, he knew that Steve needed his shield. So, he patted Steve on the shoulder, promising himself that he would see the captain again before he left the room, off to repair his suit.


End file.
